Monopolizing TED

This post is an opinion. It is important that I state this upfront given the probability that its likely to be taken badly. This post is an opinion. Re-Stated. Opinion. Period.

Lately, I’ve become a big fan of saying things ‘upfront’ along with becoming a fan of ’staying in the loop’, ‘re-defining impact’, ‘being on the same page’ and the like, but all that is a story for a different day.

TEDIndia is happening. TED has been ‘happening’, in a better way – for longer. Years ago, when TED found me – I spent several days downloading mp4 (s) to my Ipod. Qualitatively, what made the videos/talks different, was the fact that they celebrated the ’small fry’, voices that haven’t been heard before.

Now take a look at the TEDIndia’s speakers list.

If you work with development in India – almost all those names are familiar to you. Where are the new ideas? Where is the innovation? A huge percentage of the potential speakers represent the ’social enterprise’ space, there are also the ‘microfinance guys’, the ‘development economists’ and all then some more.

Some of these guys have done great work in the past. They’ve shaped the development space into what it currently is. They’ve also run out of ideas. Not to mention the ‘legendary-ness” of Usha Uthup.

Clearly, many of these people are established ‘greats’ with good reason. They’re excellent speakers and ,yes, maybe those of in this niche ‘development’ sector do know them – but this is about Global Recognition (with G and R in CAPITALS).

I beg to differ – clearly this is about fund raising and hobnobbing. Nothing wrong with that, just state it upfront.

So here’s my quibble — the idea was for TED bring ‘inspired’ thinking to the rest of us. On this front, TEDIndia – well you’ve failed me.

PS: This post, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that boss(es) are also on the speakers list.

Edutainment?

A friend who works with ‘Education’ (as we in the third sector often like to put it) once told me ” In India its difficult enough to obtain an education without having to worry about its quality too”.

I like to believe in the potential of private enterprise to do do wonders for education, professor James Tooley’s new book – the beautiful tree, does a great job of pointing how this might be plausible with primary education.

I’m also a long seasoned advocate of the Friedman argument that the Government has no business being in business. In India there is no business quite as complicated (both on the regulatory scenario front and on the potential impact front) as the business of higher education.

The argument against the utility of certification and regulatory roadblocks to offering and receiving higher education more common sense than anything else.

Sadly though, when one takes sides one often (and I am guilty of this in more ways than one) — one forgets to account for the losers in the short-run. Take the ICFAI mess in the cities of Hyderabad and Jaipur for instance.

So what can you do, as a student – while the rest of us sit and pontificate about the merits and demerits of who should be in the business of education or who shouldn’t?

Take a look at this article which suggests that students’ check the following four things before committing a good year or more of their lives to an ‘institution’ -

a. Is the Institution awarding the degree, either a valid University or Deemed to be University? If yes, is it operating within its authorized jurisdiction?

b. Does the course/ programme have the approval of the relevant professional council?

c. Does the institution have valid accreditation?

d. Is the institution awarding the degree a member of the Association of Indian Universities?

I recommend everyone who is contemplating any sort of higher education (in India) read this piece thouroughly!

As the author points out towards the end:

“…it is important that students know the regulatory environment in the field of higher education in India. Knowing the legal requirements and taking reasonable care in these matters can help the youth of this country avoid losing money and precious years to well marketed, money-oriented educational business empires. It is certainly better to be careful than to be sorry!”

Because

There was a point in my life when I was a fan of ’causes’. Not the Facebook app.

Friends would remember me as someone of strong opinions, strong ideals… as someone convinced of themselves. Wholly. Fully given to a set of beliefs and someone who always wore the same lens through which she saw the world.

Now I’m a different person – I ask why, how, do those numbers stack up?

A couple of years ago when an activist organization sent me an e-mail about the ‘evil’ of big corporations — I would do pass it around to everyone I knew and all those who happened to be on my contact list by accident.

Today I chanced upon another one of those e-mails (usually deleted these days without even a glance) and it caused me to ponder just how sensationalist and non-rigourous it was and consequently how sensationalist and non-rigourous by extension I must have been. 

There is nothing very surprising about this in itself. People grow up. Intelligence arrives as do wisdom teeth.

This particular mail I got had to do with the formerly christened Swine Flu now — now known by its more austere name the H1N1 virus.  This e-mail originated from a group of ‘concerned citizens’, whose sworn mission is to oppose large corporate entities they regularly blame for damaginf the environment, perpetuating hunger in the third world, sustaining child soldiers and now also causing Swine Flu. 

If you are like me, you already smell a rat, or a pig — as the case might be. To be anti-corporate entities for economic reasons, labour rights and so on is understandable. But to connect them to Swine Flue is an example of hijacking am event to strengthen the case of cause without any established causality.

Sample these statements from the e-mail I received – wait, forge the statements, here is the title “The Truth About Swine Flu”; did you know there was a lie involved? I didn’t. Insinuation number 1.                                                                    

Now to the statements — No-one yet knows whether swine flu will become a global pandemic, but it is becoming clear where it came from – most likely a giant pig factory farm run by an American multinational corporation in Veracruz, Mexico.” Notice, GIANT AMERICAN MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION —  advocacy communications at its best.

“These factory farms are disgusting and dangerous, and they’re rapidly multiplying.” – Incidentally, bolds are all as they are in the e-mail. Notice, DISGUSTING and DANGEROUS – also rapidly multiplying; here is my question – links, footnotes, data?

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) must investigate and develop regulations for these farms to protect global health.” Global health of course, is merely a function of regulating pig farms. Snort. 

“Big agrobusiness will try to obstruct and scuttle any attempts at reform” , ahem, substantiate?! 

If we reach 200,000 signatures we will deliver it to the WHO in Geneva with a herd of cardboard pigs. For every 1000 petition signatures we will add a pig to the herd” (italics my own) – This is how seriosuly we want to take global health and swine flu – not policy, not a serious study of what ‘regulations’ might work – but cardboard pigs, sure. Bring ‘em on!

“Smithfield itself has already been fined $12.6m and is currently under another federal investigation in the US for toxic environmental damage from pig excrement lakes.”…a combination of increased global meat consumption and a powerful industry motivated by profit…”, and yet because there is a market for pork apparently there isn’t enough regulation! Snort. 

Swine Flu, let me state, is something that calls for serious research and action. However, what it does not call for, is hijacking of its intrinsic importance by an anti-profit, anti-corporations bandwagon that does little else than hollar about regulations and practise strategic communication games to get ints finger on the world’s issues-pie. 

Sheesh.

Why GMail Labs Matter!

Pretty much all of us live out of inbox these days, and, more often than not — its GMail.

If you want to spend a really productive and more fun day at your inbox; I strongly recommend paying more attention to GMail Labs.

Far too many people I know, who use GMail for both work and play don’t utilize the power and beauty that GMail Labs add to your inbox.

The slew of features and functionality some incredibly useful and others of questionable importance – still nevertheless go a long way towards making you a GMail Ninja.

Here’s a quick run-down on how to set-these up on your GMail account and a little something about my favourite ones:

To start using the GMail Labs features simply click on settings in the upper right corner of your GMail box and find something called Labs. If ‘Labs’ doesn’t show up for you, just follow this post to get it set-up manually.

As it now stands, there are  Gmail Labs experiments out there and they all work with a simple ‘enable’ or ‘disable’ radio-button, with the exception of GMail Offline which is slightly more complicated.

As of today, Gmail Labs features include the following:

Add any gadget by URL

If there is a service you use which has an XML link (most google gadgets for igoogle do), such as RTM or something else, you can embed the service right into your inbox. I use the twitter gadget a lot.

Advanced IMAP controls

If you use IMAP with Outlook/Thunderbird or any other desk based e-mail tool or even mobile device, this nifty little feature will let you choose what folders in GMail you want to sync – eliminating the need to download and sync everything on GMail.

Canned responses

Useful if you manage something like a listserv or have to say “I’ll get back to you” to a lot of people on e-mail. One click and you have a template reply ready to go.

Create a document

This one allows you to create a Google Document from an email conversation. Its very useful for notes, research and that sort of thing.

Custom date formats

If you live in a country, like I do, where the default date format is not mm/dd/yy – then you really need this one!

Custom keyboard shortcuts

If you are keyboard junkie this one should be obvious. If not it wouldn’t matter anyway.

Custom label colors

If you liked the coloured labels in GMail but want some finer control – this feature is your answer.

Default reply to all

If you find yourself having to reply to a group of people usually this feature is simply beautiful.

Email Addict

This one feature I have enabled but can never bring myself to use. Nevertheless, I highly recommend it. If you’ve been staring too much at GMail all day – go click the link and take a walk for a bit!

Extra Emoji

If you are emoticon kind, turning this one will help you with pictures of wine and a whole lot of more!

Filter import/export

If you are into GTD productivity you probably already use GMail’s filters pretty well. This feature lets you export and import a common set across multiple e-mail ids if you have them. I recommend using Lifehacker’s set – they’re fantastic.

Fixed width font

Adds an option to the reply drop down menu that lets you view a message in fixed width font.

Flickr previews

If people share their flickr pictures with you a lot, this one will just show you a high quality preview right in your mail – no external links to visit.

Forgotten attachment

Duh!

Go to label

Adds a nice button that allows you to search and go to a label name directly instead of having to scroll all the way!

Google Calendar gadget

Embeds a tiny version of your GMail Calendar right in your inbox, so you have your agenda with you.

Google Docs gadget

As above, for quick access to google docs you are working on.

Hide unread counts

Turn down the volume on your e-mail with this feature. It will hide your e-mail unread count across GMail so you have no need to panic.

Location in signature

If you access GMail on-the-go a lot, this one is useful for recipients to figure out where you are. It uses your IP to figure out where you are mailing from.

Mail Goggles

Prone to sending drunken e-mails? Mail Goggles will pose an irritating mathematical challenge on Saturday nights before you e-mail – just so you give up, before you hit the ’send’ button.

Mark as read

Adds a button that simply allows you to mark the selected e-mails ‘read’.

Mouse gestures

If you are a mouse junkie – then this one is obvious.

Multiple inboxes

This one is actually a really interesting idea. It splits your default inbox view into two or more ‘inboxes’ allowing you to view your default inbox and any other customised view you like in the default pane. For a better description read this.

Muzzle

This one is one my favourite features in Labs. It gets rid of the long status message space in GTalk, which is anyway visible if you hover over a contact’s name.

Navbar drag and drop

If you end up using a lot of these features, at some point you’ll start feeling that your left-side navigation is becoming unwieldy and long. This feature allows you to reorganize and prioritize what you use using simple click-and-drag.

Offline Gmail

By far, the singularly most useful feature in all of GMail Labs.Offline GMail let’s you access GMail while offline – meaning if you use it as a reference like I do, you can still get to your drafts, read older mail and so on. It even has a special mode for flakey connectivity. Read more about it here, and you’ll need Google Gears to get started on it.

Old Snakey

Fun Fun! A game in your email.

Picasa previews

Yup, Picasa albums that you can see without leaving Gmail.

Quick Links

Allows you to create and save a small box-full of daily searches you do in your e-mail.

Quote selected text

Quote the text you have selected when you reply to a message.

Random signature

Specify more than one signature and have Gmail rotate among them for you.

Right side chat and Right side labels

Have a wide-screen computer? Use the real-estate! Shift Chat and Labels to the right-side, its convenient.

Search auto-complete

If you like how this works with Google, you’ll like how it works in GMail.

Send and archive

Adds a sen-and-archive button, saves a couple of extra clicks.

Signature tweaks

Adds some nice tweaks to how your signature appears.

Superstars

If you’ve wished for a good way to differentiate between ’starred’ messages, this is for you. Flag away as much as you want.

Tasks

GMail’s own ToD0 list manager, with e-mail intergration, a chat-like interface and super intutiveness.

Text messaging (SMS) in chat

Works only in the USA. Allows you to text a buddy who went offline.

Title tweaks

Changes order of elements in the browser title bar–  so you are able (most of the time) to see if a new mail has arrived even if Gmail window is minimized.

Undo send

Change your mind about an e-mail you sent? Undo it!

Vacation time

Specify time-periods with the vacation auto-responder.

Yelp previews

Inline yelp previews, cool eh?

YouTube previews

Pops up a tiny video window you can watch for YouTube links sent to you via GTalk in GMail.

Pictures in Chat

Puts the associated contact’s picture into the GTalk window within GMail.

Sender Time Zone

Adds a tiny red or green icon next to the sender’s email address in a conversation indicating if the person will be asleep or awake when your e-mail reaches. Useful if you are e-mailing someone in Luxomberg from India and have no clue when to expect a reply!

Google Search

Easily the next best thing to GMail Offline in the GMail Labs world. Adds a tiny seach box within GMail, styped as a chat pop-up box (like Tasks is) which allows you to search for anything within GMail. Allows you to avoid switching to a new tab/window when asked for a query via e-mail, for example.

Suggest more recipients

This feaure, works in tandem with you while composing an e-mail, suggesting additional recepients you might want to consider marking an e-mail to – after you have specified a couple.

Inserting images

Allows you to insert images into a message body. You can upload and insert image files in your computer, or insert images by URLs.

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GMail Lab Features I cannot live without include – Offline, YouTube Previews, Google Search, Tasks, Quick Links, Superstars, Muzzle, Custom Date Formats, E-Mail Addict, Right-side Chat and Labels, Navbar Drag and Drop, Advanced IMAP Controls, Default reply to all, Forgotten Attachment Detector, Go to Label, Mark as read, Create a Document, Filter Import/Export, Send and Archive, Undo Send, Search Autocomplete, Google Calendar and Docs Gadget and Add Any Gadget by Url.

If you give any of these a try, let me know what works for you!

The 29C Effect

Everyday in the morning I wake up at 07:00 a.m to the constant beeping of my cellphone. I then press ’snooze’ and get back under my sheet.

I do this at least three times on average and end up waking up at 07:30 a.m. I then rush through a bath, put on a thoroughly unmatched Kurta over ancient jeans and walk through a mini-swamp, a pile of stones, huge piles of cow-dung and some lousy construction to reach the famous ECR road.

By this time it is usually exactly 08:20 a.m.

At this point I slowly melt into the motley bunch of fisher women, harried mothers’ with school bags and children in tow, men looking for casual labour, the day-shift call center executive and the proverbial IT kid. We all then compete with each other to stuff ourselves into already over crowded share-autos.

Share autos are just larger three wheelers with open sides that make up for the fact that they are not quite large enough.

Once I succeed at getting into one of these I make my honking journey across ECR to Thiruvanmiyur bus stand. This entire painful routine usually ends up guaranteeing me a seat in my all-time favourite bus – the 29C AC special.

The AC specials are ultra-modern ‘low-floor, high-seat, music-blaring, air-conditioned, automated-swinging-door, uniformed conductor and polite driver’ specials. They are lovely.  They are also white with huge advertisements painted in bold colours across them. And there are just two leaving every hour.

I have a favourite seat, its in the back half of the bus. Second from the front, near the windows that the 29C occupants can see out of but that people on the road can’t see through. I wait to pay the conductor my 23 rupees and then listen to my iPod till I get to Sterling road.

The 29C community is a small bunch of people. A retired army officer who does strategic consulting at some shady Nungambakkam firm, a real well meaning middle-aged aunty who has a bad leg and requests an unscheduled stop at the Chola Sheraton, the three college girls who talk about the ‘worst lectures’ ever who get off at Stella and the quirky young chap with a stubble like Abhishek Bacchan — carrying a pink bag and reading a book on fashion design.

We see each other every day. Some of us smile, some of us even say good morning. Most of us know we are in this bus together sharing a journey. We wait together when our beloved bus is later and express surprise if even one us misses a day in the week. The 29C effect calmed me, prepared me for office and battles of the day, made me belong to a bunch of comfort-seeking yet poor members of the ‘middle-class’.

From 6th of March i will cease to be a part of these people’s lives and their stories. I will never know if the effeminate guy won his art competition, if the aunty managed to get her sons to fix the fuse, if the girls managed to bunk their classes or if the tired wage worker managed to save up to recharge his phone to tell his son in Perambur that he now uses an AC bus.

Another two days and the inexplicably comforting 29C effect will be history. No wait, it will go on to write histories that no one will ever read.  I will no longer be a character on its stage. Stop the bus, I want to get off…

The Business of Being Lonely

I need a new place to go to and if people didn’t hire-by-the-blog I would say more. All through this trauma I’ve felt a cold updraft blowing up my neck.

I’m surrounded by people who say they care. “Don’t worry”,  “come on, you know you’re talented”, “why should you have any trouble finding a job”, “its not your fault”, “don’t be silly girl, you are so bright” – the constant refrain.

It rings in my ears, swims around in my brain and I still can’t deal with it.

They call me and mail me because they’re concerned… “I can’t believe this has happened to you”, “there must be something wrong with people where you work”, “the organization must have a history”, “maybe you just don’t fit”, “this is how the sector works” and the king of all kind words is this one – “Its all for the larger good” ….. SIGH.

And I get tired. Writing the same old applications, back to square one from six months ago.

The trouble is this is not what I want to hear.

I don’t want to be told I am good, the hell with it – I know I am, or rather was, good at what I did. I certainly know I was better than most average people.

I know, for example, that I added value, made things efficient and I poured my heart into it just like Howard Schultz did. Maybe not at the same scale, but certainly I tried. He ended up with Star Bucks. Look at where I am… don’t even have enough of a bank balance for a blessed burnt coffee from a lousy Barista down the road.

Its not even that its recession, that my firm ran out of money or even that ‘losing the job’ perse that matters.

Some part of me felt (and knew, albeit wrongly) all through life  that anything I gave a fair shot to would end up being a success.

I’ve been schooled to believe that the bright come out first, and that in my case, in most instances — laziness got in between. So how am I here now? At this juncture – out without a job like so many others (but not quite like them), too late to go back to grad school, missed the bus on all scholarships and with little hope or faith that I will land another job anytime soon.

Welcome to the business of being lonely. This is how it feels to have landed a great job, worked hard and then be thrown out. This is what it feels like to be honest and put in effort and then become a pawn in an entirely new game you never knew the sophisticated souls around you were playing.

The business of being lonely is characterized by a strong sense of anger (mostly self-directed), a large dose of disappointment, a reality-check cum slap-in-face (choose what you prefer), a huge looming sense of disillusionment and the need to hear the right thing from people around and be totally disappointed on that front too.

People make it their business to sympathize – but its in the business of being lonely where the little things start to hurt. The fact that others around you earn, have busy lives which they expect you to understand because after all you were once there yourself, the fact that well meaning others will constantly tell you that its not a big deal – and just because you don’t mope decide that you are so strong that making jokes about it wont hurt either.

The business of being lonely is big business. Its so big it will swamp you in its enormity, it will dwarf all other concerns, zap your energy and make others impatient with you.

It is after all efficient, who has the time for emotions – the world is pragmatic and if I don’t pull up my non-existent socks someone else will walk away with the Gucci boots.

Firefox Fascination

Working has managed to take me away from blogging as often as I once used to.

Its done other things to0 – like rekindle my interest in building, keeping and growing social networks, figuring out a GTD like system that actually works for me both at work and at home.

I call this phase of my existence the “networking-productivity MashUp” phase.

Central to this phase has been reconciling myself to use two separate laptops one for work and the other for my techie misadventures.

The two set-ups have much in common sans the OS and documents.

One of the things that maintains seamless similarity across any laptop/computer I am assigned to for a fairly reasonable length of time is my browser.

My Wakoopa usage tells me I spend a lot of my time in a ‘browser’ (combined for work and home use) and so I try to get it to work the way I like.

Firefox is still my favourite browser despite the existence and obviously faster performance of Chrome (which I use solely for GMail, GReader and so on…), the reason is its extensibility.

Here are my favourite Firefox add-ons with a description of why I like them.

Some are still ‘experimental’ so you’ll need to create an account to make them show up on the add-ons website.

- Adblock Plus

Just the most effective way to get rid of ads on the net.

- Better Flickr
- Better GCal
- Better Gmail 2
- Better GReader
- Better Lifehacker
- Better YouTube

I like this set by Gina of lifehacker – and because I read Lifehacker every single day the ‘Better Lifehacker’ add on too is extraordinarily useful.

To use any or all of these you need to get GreaseMonkey.

- bit.ly Preview
A little pop up overlay over all shortened url’s (not just Bitly) which is great, if you, ever need to discover what website that great nugget of knowledge came from while you stumbled along the net.

- Brief’

A feed reading extension which is probably the simplest one to use!

- Calvin and Hobbes

This one puts a new strip of the ‘greatest political philosopher ever’ in your status bar, comic relief is important!

- Clean And Close

Adds a Clean And Close button to your download manager, which is useful if you download a lot and the long list bothers you.

- CoLT

Makes it easy to copy link text and locations, especially useful for research where you want text and link sources.

- Cooliris

The best description is the official one — “Cooliris (formerly PicLens) transforms your browser into a full-screen 3D Wall for searching, viewing and sharing the Web.” Very pretty indeed!

- CyberSearch

I like how this adds to the ‘awesomeness’ of the awesome bar – search results directly from keywords. Cool.

- Dafizilla Table2Clipboard

If you ever have had to copy a table from a web-page you will be very happy you found this!

- Delicious Bookmarks

Doesn’t require a description does it this one!

- Extension List Dumper

“Dumps a list of the installed extensions.” – very useful if you ever wanted to write your own “my favourite Firefox extensions” type blog post.

- Fasterfox Lite

“Performance and network tweaks for Firefox but without the Pre-fetching”, which really wasn’t that useful.

- FindThatBand

Sorry!, but Google for this one. It lets you – “Search for a music artist or band on MySpace, LastFM, or Pandora”.

- Fire.fm

Get your daily music fix from Last.fm.

- FlashGot

Want downloads? Get FlashGot.
- Google Gears

At the minimum you’ll need it to enable gmail offline and a faster loading version of word press.

- Google Shortcuts

For keyboard shortcut junkies.

- GoogleEnhancer

Adds numbers, highlighting, favicons and ’search by date’ to Google searches

- Image Toolbar

“Provides easy access to common image functions”, IE Style.

- Intense Debate in Google Reader

Enables the Intense Debate comment system in Google Reader.

- Link Alert

Changes the cursor to indicate the target of a link.

- Linky

Converts text links into genuine, clickable links.

- LiveClick

Adds feed reading and notifications to Live Bookmarks.

- Morning Coffee
Keeps track of daily routine websites and opens them in tabs.

- MovieRating

Lets you view the RottenTomatoes rating for a movie.

- Net Notes

Store Notes on Websites in your Bookmarks.

- No Squint

Manage site-specific full page and text zoom levels

- Open in Google Docs
Open web documents directly in Google Docs

- PDF Download

Allows you to choose what to do with a PDF file: download it, view it with an external viewer or view it as HTML.

- Previewr

Allows “Easy link previewing”

- QuickJava

Allows quick enable and disable of Java and Javascript from statusbar.

- ReminderFox

Displays and manages reminders and ToDo’s

- Search Cloudlet
More powerful Google search with context-aware tag clouds

- Select-n-Go by Cleeki

Select, search, and preview instantly.

- Site Launcher

Open websites using special keyboard shortcuts, like Launchy for Firefox

- Smarter Wikipedia

Adds a “related articles” box to Wikipedia and allows searching of selected text from context menu

- TwittyTunes

Post your tunes to Twitter using FoxyTunes, and more…

- Ubiquity

An extension that allows for the use of dynamic commands in Firefox.

- Unread Tabs Supreme

“Unread tabs are displayed in italics to indicate that you haven’t read them.

- UrlbarExt

“Extends the Location Bar with set of commands to (Make Tiny URL,Copy URL,Search site,Go up,Tag pages easily ,Navigate through sequential URL’s,Unblock filtered websites and Surf anonymously using online phproxy servers)

- YouTube Cinema

Play YouTube videos in cinema style.

Where are we headed?

Its raining and it doesn’t stop.

I trudge and wade through streets flooded with brown water -  the television and newspapers are also flooded with news of Mumbai’s latest horror story, the burning domes of the Taj, lost lives at Leopold and the people whose lives were lost on a shooting spree in a police vehicle.

Seems almost surreal, like something out of a good new age cinema film – only we can’t just walk out of the cinema hall and applaud the good screenplay.

So, while I trudged out in the pouring rain two incidents came back to me in ‘TechniColour’.  a Diwali shopping venture at Sarojini Nagar and the bomb blast that followed – the panic, the flames and the desire to be extraordinarily cowardly and run.

Cut- to a different country – an upscale furnished apartment in Washington and the news of some six plus bombs in Ahmadabad. Me trying to figure out what was going wrong with India – desperately searching for Indian news channels on television, calling friends and reaching an annoying beeping sound every single time.

I didn’t lose anybody either time, and not this time either. But I do lose a little of myself every time. Why kill? Why bomb? Why derail an entire system, a city and an entire people?

A little bit of myself goes cold – with fear, with revulsion and with the thought that we all just took another giant step backwards – we went from civilized negotiation to fist fights, from speeches to squeezing life out of throats and perhaps just witnessed the start of yet another violent uprising against a particular people.

What is there to be said? Resilience only goes so far.

You have my permission to love…

Delhi University was a great place to be in.

One of the reasons I enjoyed it so much, was, because of the fierce debating culture that pervaded almost every ‘classy’ or ‘would-be-classy’ college under the DU banner. To become a debater was rare, to be considered a good one by the ‘debating circuit’ was a great thing too.

I was lucky to be a part of that ambiance; an ambiance that encouraged free thinking, complex and well thought-out yet elegant solutions, eloquent verbal parrying and extensive research all fueled by a fierce sense of pride and competition.

To reach a respectable position in the Delhi debating circuit required a potential debater in DU to begin somewhere. Most of us, me included; began at some lousy debate with an outrageously archaic and stupid subject.

One such debate I argued at, asked, if ‘live-in relationships’ were alright.  My debating career was defined through the years by a friend who said, I was — “a great debater, though not the most lucky one”.  I was usually left to argue the side that nobody else wanted. As a result I learnt how to play the devil’s advocate with such alacrity that it still surprises me. I could slip into another pair of shoes without so much as a twitch in my conscience. Years later, I am still fighting this tendency I carefully cultivated, years ago.

Back then, us debaters were young and fashionably rebellious. No one person on the team that wintry morning wanted to sound ‘un-modern’, and say, that live-in relationships were a bad thing. Naturally I had to pick the side that was unfashionable.

At the podium I found myself facing a sea of people my age. All of whom rebelliously believed that anyone who spoke on the other side should be thoroughly ‘thrashed’ on principled grounds – these grounds were hormone driven for most part.  The other part of my audience, and certainly more critical of the two without doubt, was a set of old foggies who were to sit on judgment for the day.

One of the most critical changes, that led to the parliamentary style of debate becoming more popular with articulate young debaters, was a healthy dislike of these old foggies. Parliamentary debates are judged by the young. These people are adjudicators not judges; and have very often debated themselves. In other words they could make you lose a debate, but they have to be analytical about it! Not one of these ‘adjudicators’ had the right to verbally lop off your head, which, the old foggies seem to particularly love doing.

I had wanted to laugh that morning. On stage. I wanted to tell people that they had no idea what they were talking about. But there I was, up on the podium -expected to argue that ‘live-in(s)’ were not an Indian cultural phenomenon, they did not lead to more love, they hurt our parents, were unsafe and also immoral.  These are not the things I said, this is what I heard parroted around me. These were, also, the very things I decided not to say.

I learnt two very precious lessons at this debate; the first was how to argue and debate and the second that intelligence is very critical. For example, there is absolutely no compulsion to tread down the much-walked path and even less of a compulsion to say what you don’t believe in. The crowd I was speaking to wanted to hear good things about live-in relationships, and that, is what I told them.

To begin with, I was better qualified than anyone else to discuss this subject because I actually ‘lived-in’ with. I also asked what the word ‘alright’ meant. Live-in relationships, I had said, were not about what is alright and what isn’t. They were a personal choice and quite beyond the ‘public sphere’. I won. It was no big deal, I just changed the rules of the game. That is what all great debaters do- they alter the terms of reference, change the fabric of discourse; pick your favourite phrase!

Years later I see India grappling with the same ridiculous subject. Only this time it isn’t in some dusty auditorium of Delhi University, but in the cabinet of our fine nation. The Maharashtra government is  pushing a ‘progressive’ reform to the criminal procedure code which allows un-wed women (also called the ‘other woman’, to my utter dismay) pecuniary rights. Wait, don’t get me wrong- I don’t think this is wrong; I’m just amused at how the announcement has been misinterpreted.

To begin with – the reform has nothing to do with live-in relationships, this is rather obvious given that these proposed pecuniary rights are available to what are called ‘other women’; or a second woman outside a marriage. This, is a rather sad state of affairs for any relationship, and it certainly isn’t the same thing as a live-in relationship.

A live-in relationship is simply a relationship between a man and a woman who are committed to living together but not committed to a wedded institutionalized set-up. The government doesn’t seem to comprehend this definition.

There are several things wrong with this bit of legislation – first and foremost, as several people have pointed out; we don’t really know how long the ‘reasonably long’ period to be ‘considered’ a wife is. What is really wrong with it, though, is the potential it has for unintended consequences.

Never mind that it is revolting that a women should be entitled to spousal support only if she is a spouse – or if she fits into the law-made definition of a ’spouse’.  Never mind that the idea of a woman wanting spousal support is revolting too. Isn’t the law better mended to make sure that women have better starting life chances- so she can stand on equal footing and earn her own keep as opposed to begging off the plate of a failed or unwilling wedding? What of self-respect? Nothing, eh?

Take a look at the twisted set of incentives leading to unintended consequences. More men (or women, as the case may be) will be less willing to live with their loved ones for fear of persecution, more women will be economically incited (this is a very poor country) into becoming poorly treated consorts of the extra-kind, more men will be forced into denying their relationships making society even more closeted, more long-term living brothel houses will spring up that will guarantee ‘living-in’ without out spousal support…. the consequences are endless and dreadful for liberty, women and men without exception.

Sure, the idea is progressive – given the alternative.  The normal recourse as several of us know, is to fake marriage,  in order to find a home. So, the next time I go looking to live with my significant other, without a marriage certificate – I can be assured of a rejection. Why? Because in effect the government has certified that I have to be the ‘other woman’.

We all know how landlords in India- welcome the ‘other woman’ into their homes now, don’t we? So, come let’s celebrate State sanction to love and live. Never mind the labels, the silly little sniggers, the mid-night encroaches upon an ‘easy-women’; after all, the State says that by law, you can now make love!

HTC love

I have now owned an HTC Touch for the last two weeks.

The HTC touch was a rather agonizing choice in the smart phone category, given that I wanted GPS Navigation and 3G to work on my potential ’smart’-phone and ended up with a phone that has neither.

In hindsight though I believe this was not such a bad idea. To begin with India will have to wait at least till March for established 3G connectivity and there was no reason why I  should need GPS navigation when I don’t drive.

The HTC Touch has a lot of thoughtful features. I particular like the white balance feature on the camera, the tiny mirror to check your looks before you take a picture of your self, the cube which reminds a fair bit of Opera’s speed-dial feature (yes, I know its the other around!), setting transparency levels for background images and so on.

In fact the only thing I don’t like about this phone is Windows mobile 6- which is a badly done mobile OS- but oh well, can’t really blame HTC for that!